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Introducing Pastoral Trading Cards

I’m not sure but I found this quite funny.


Introducing Pastoral Trading Cards: “

In the age of megachurch pastors, there’s only one thing missing: pastoral trading cards. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to introduce the first ever pastoral trading card set. In addition to having cards of their favorite athletes, kids can now have cards of their favorite pastor. I’ve included some samples to whet your appetite.

The John Piper Rookie “Necklace” Card

This card is the rarest and most valuable of all the pastoral trading cards. This card shows Dr. Piper just before he became a pastor, and is the only known photograph of Dr. Piper wearing a piece of jewelry other than a wedding ring.

The Mark Driscoll “Punchout” Card

Everyone knows that Mark Driscoll is a big fan of UFC, and the Mark Driscoll “Punchout” card shows Mark demonstrating his favorite UFC move, “The Holy Hammer”, on Dr. Piper. Experts are valuing this card at approximately 12 strips of bacon, which Mark Driscoll also loves.

The Mahaney/McArthur “Together for the Basket” Card

This card has collectors drooling. It clearly depicts C.J. Mahaney and John McArthur playing basketball together. C.J. often talks about sports from the pulpit, but this is the only known photograph of him actually doing it, and some experts have actually wondered whether he might have been photoshopped in by his wily assistant, Tony “Tractor Trailer” Reinke.

The Mark Dever “Karate” Card

This action packed card portrays Dr. Dever just before he karate chopped the ESV Study Bible (a stunt no one had successfully done up to that point).

Look for this gorgeous set of cards to be in the stores soon.

What cards would add to the set?

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3 thoughts on “Introducing Pastoral Trading Cards

  1. I think this is hilarious. We're definitely missing a Rick Warren and Billy Graham card. (Not making fun, I love them as preachers, but trading cards are hysterical!).

    It kind of reminds me of the Jesus dolls Target was selling a couple of years ago. My five year old son and I passed the display and he had to have one. It was 12inches tall and if you pressed the button on the back he told Bible stories.

    I didn't know whether to love it or be horrified. Anyone whose ever had a Barbie doll knows, what's the first thing a kid does with it…strips off all the clothes of course.

    I ended up buying the doll for my begging son, but it came with ground rules. He could absolutely, positively, NOT take the clothes off Jesus.

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